


The Kids Aren't All Right

by Howlingdawn



Category: Iron Man (Movies), Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, Gen, Hallucinations, Heavy Angst, Mental Breakdown, Mental Institutions, everything even remotely medical in this is me making up reasons for this to be even angstier, more characters and tags to be added once chp2 is up, so if i like mortally offend you im sorry, warning that i know nothing about medicine
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-30
Updated: 2019-01-29
Packaged: 2019-10-19 04:57:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,176
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17595044
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Howlingdawn/pseuds/Howlingdawn
Summary: When Tony was killed by Thanos, he left a pair of kids behind: freshly-resurrected Peter Parker and unborn Morgan Stark. While Peter's mind breaks, Morgan grows up bitter.





	The Kids Aren't All Right

**Author's Note:**

> So this was just a headcanon in response to a challenge to make a Tumblr post angstier, but then someone challenged me to make it a fic, so here we are :) Enjoy!

_Peter wove through the sea of teenagers dressed exactly the same as he was, searching for the adults waiting for him outside of the building. Finally, hopping to see over the heads of his taller classmates, he spotted the six people waiting for him, each one sporting a proud grin._

_As he neared, his mother, a short woman with chin-length brown hair and a face full of laugh lines, rose onto her tiptoes to wave. When she inevitably wobbled, losing her balance, his father steadied her, his eyes soft beneath a neatly-cropped head of salt-and-pepper hair._

_Finally free of the crowd, Peter held up his diploma. "I'm free!"_

_Mom swept him into a hug. "I'm so proud of you, honey!"_

_Uncle Ben arched an eyebrow. "'Free?'"_

_Aunt May leaned in to kiss his cheek. "You do still have to go to college, honey."_

_"And thank God he got into MIT," Mr. Stark said._

_"Well, you hardly gave him a choice," Mrs. Pepper teased. She had her arm looped through her husband's, their wedding rings shining in the sunlight._

_"Guys," Peter complained. "Can't we take a moment to be happy I don't have to face high school anymore?"_

_Dad chuckled, wrapping his arm around Peter's shoulders. "Of course we can, son. And we can be glad that no evil villains crashed your graduation ceremony."_

"Come on, kid. Wake up."

_Peter blinked at the sound of the voice, echoing and distant. Mr. Rhodey wasn't here. Was he?_

_"Richard! Hush!" Mom whispered, slapping his arm._

_"Mary, we're with Iron Man," Uncle Ben pointed out. "They'd be here for him, not Spider-Man."_

"Peter. Peter, wake up. Wake up!"

_"Oh," she said sheepishly. "Righ- Honey?"_

_Peter pulled away from his parents, spinning to search for the voice. It was getting closer, stronger. It triggered something in him, a memory clawing to get to the surface, a memory of fear and terror, of orange and dust._

" _I don't wanna go."_

_The words escaped him without conscious thought, and he knew they meant something, but he didn't know what. He spun back to his parents, to his aunt and uncle, to two of the people who had mentored him as he entered the superhero world._

_Only to find them crumbling to dust._

" _No!" he yelled, lunging for them. "Mom! Dad! Uncle Ben! Wait!"_

_His fingers closed around nothing. The grassy courtyard faded away, turning to dusty orange, the stadium turning to alien ruins._

Peter bolted upright with a gasp. Tears ran down his cheeks, his hands clutching at the rock beneath him.

"Hey, hey, take it easy," Mr. Rhodey soothed. He crouched beside Peter, gripping his shoulder and supporting his back with steady hands. "You're safe now, kid. I've got you."

Peter slumped against him, looking around as he struggled to calm his breathing. Mr. Quill, Ms. Mantis, Doctor Strange, and Mr. Drax all seemed to be having the same problems he was, helped by their own friends. Peter sucked in a breath as he recognized Mr. Thor watching over them all, smiling when he noticed Peter noticing him.

_Thor just smiled at me._

_But wait. Where…_ "Where's Mr. Stark?"

It might've been unnoticeable to nearly anyone else, but Peter's enhanced senses felt the tremor in Mr. Rhodey's hands, the slight spike of his heartrate, the scent of salty tears beginning to form. He tore away, staring at him. "Where's Mr. Stark?"

Mr. Rhodey took a deep, trembling breath. "He's… He didn't make it, Pete. Tony… Tony died."

Memories flashed through Peter's voices, memories of three men who had come and gone far, far too quickly.

_I love you, son. See you next week._

_I'm proud of you, Pete. Go be a hero._

_You're all right._

"No. No, no, no, no, no."

Peter curled in on himself, drawing his knees to his chest, burying his face in them, sliding his fingers into his hair and clutching it so hard it hurt. He was shaking, tears running down his cheeks, his nose, onto his knees, the ground. He couldn't breathe, his chest heaved but nothing came in, but somehow he just kept saying it. "No. No no no no no-"

Three men. A father, an uncle, a mentor. Three different things, three different ways of entering his life, and yet they all meant the same to him. They were all his dads. They had raised him, and he had looked up to them. He had loved them.

He had been with him. But now he was back.

And now they were gone.

All gone.

_No._

"Pete, come on, look at me-"

Mr. Rhodey's voice bordered on pleading, but Peter didn't respond to it. He couldn't. He just wanted to curl up tighter, dive into the darkness between his knees. He couldn't- he couldn't handle-

A hand rested on his shoulder. He reacted. He slammed it away, screaming. "No! No, don't touch me, don't get attached to me-"

_If you get attached to me, you die._

_If I get attached to you, you die._

"Kid, please-"

"No!"

His throat hurt, his eyes burned, and some part of him registered that Mr. Rhodey's voice was full of pain, that there had been a _snap_ when Peter hit his arm, but he couldn't process it. He just screamed, screamed and cried, lashing out at anything that tried to touch him.

"Thor, help, hold him still-"

"Nebula, wait-"

Something cracked across the back of his head, and he fell into silent darkness.

\-----

May stood at the foot of Peter's bed in the compound's medical ward, hugging herself tightly. His vulnerability in the baggy white hospital gown, she could comprehend that. The bandages, the IV, the sling, she could comprehend that. But nothing else made sense.

The restraints, their padding hiding vibranium, holding him to the vibranium bedframe attached to the vibranium floor.

Rhodey's arm, encased in a cast, broken by Peter.

The sedative within the IV, keeping him unconscious so he wouldn't hurt himself or anyone else.

None of it made sense.

"He did what?" she rasped.

"I told him Tony was dead," Rhodey answered, "and he… he lost control. He didn't mean to break my arm, he just- didn't want anyone to touch him. But he was starting to pull his hair out, so we thought…"

"You were right," Doctor Kani, the resident psychologist, said. "In that state of mind, with his superpowers, wearing his Iron Spider suit… If you had let him be, things could've gotten much, much worse."

Somehow, new tears began to fill May's eyes. She didn't know she'd had any more to spare. "Will he recover?"

Kani was short and thin, her blonde hair pulled back into a simple ponytail, elegant glasses framing gentle green eyes, their pastel blue frames matching her pantsuit. "Physically, yes, he'll be perfectly fine in no time," she answered. "But mentally… we'll have to see. Which means we'll need him awake."

The nurse, currently a bandage over a cut on Peter's arm, looked up. "Are you sure? We don't know if he'll still be violent."

_Violent. Peter._

Never before had May considered putting those two words in the same, perfectly understandable sentence.

Kani nodded. "Please."

The nurse finished up and carefully removed the needle from his arm. "With his metabolism, he'll burn through the remainder in a few minutes," she told them before leaving.

Kani gestured to the empty chair beside Peter's bed. "Please, Mrs. Parker, sit with him. Colonel, it may be best for you to leave."

Rhodey didn't look at all happy at the idea, but reluctantly he trudged outside. Kani sat in a chair in the corner, making herself as unobtrusive as possible. May sat beside her nephew, twisting her hands together in her lap. And she waited.

The nurse was right – it was mere minutes before he began stirring. His forehead crinkled, a little moan of reluctance escaping him. May almost smiled, recognizing the little movements from every morning she'd woken him up for school.

If only she could believe he was only reluctant to wake up because it was early.

"Peter?" she murmured, lightly resting her hand on his arm.

"May?" he mumbled. Slowly, his eyes blinked open, squinting as he turned to her. "What happened?"

"You don't remember?"

Peter shook his head, then winced. When he lifted a hand to investigate, the cuff stopped him short. "Wh-why am I restrained?"

"It's ok," May reassured him evasively, nudging his hand down. "How are you feeling?"

"My head hurts, but I'm really fine. What happened?"

May bit her lip, glancing at Kani. She nodded. _Gently_ , she mouthed.

Taking a deep breath, May looked back at her nephew. "What do you remember?"

Peter furrowed his brows, thinking. "Uh… I was on the field trip, and then… Titan! We went to Titan, me and Mr. Stark and Doctor Strange, and we met the Guardians of the Galaxy there, and then we fought Thanos. How'd we get home? Did the others rescue us? Where's Mr. Stark?"

"You were rescued," May answered slowly. "You, Strange, and the Guardians. Thanos was defeated. But… Peter, Tony didn't make it."

"No," Peter said instantly, his hands clenching into fists, eyes widening. "No, he made it. He's alive. He has to be. Right?"

May reached out, wanting to run her fingers through his curls and cradle him and tell him he was fine. "I wish I could give you better news, sweetheart."

And this time, Peter was growling, growling in shaky, grief-fueled rage. "No. No, he's _fine_. He's fine!"

He yanked on his restraints, and May grabbed his hand. "Peter, honey, calm down, please-"

But he was screaming now, thrashing, jerking away from her. Kani ran forward, guiding her back, as the nurse hurried back in, followed by Thor. He held Peter down, appearing to use all of his godly strength to do it without hurting him, and still he barely managed to hold him still enough for the nurse to administer more sedative.

Tears running down his cheeks, Peter faded into sleep, fighting every step of the way.

May buried her face in her hands and sobbed.

\-----

A few days later, May went back for another visit, as had become her daily ritual, but this time, she didn't head to the compound. No, his physical injuries had healed, so she drove to a psychiatric hospital a few miles away from the compound, one that had been built to house the world's superpowered people with mental illnesses. There were mostly villains, but in a separate ward with extra security at its entrances, it also housed a few heroes who had been broken by the stress of the job.

May had never expected Peter, her bright, bubbly, happy, job-loving Peter, to be one of them.

Pepper pulled into a parking spot and turned the car off, but May didn't move. She stared at the large brick building in front of her, with a pair of armed guards outside of every door, holding large stun guns. They were there to protect the patients as much as the doctors and visitors, she knew, but knowing Peter was confined in their jurisdiction did nothing to soothe the turmoil she'd been feeling since she saw the news footage of Spider-Man flying into space.

Pepper reached over to squeeze her hand. "You're not alone."

May scrubbed a hand across her eyes. "God, I feel so bad about this. At least Peter survived. You… The father of your child died for mine."

Pepper swallowed, resting her other hand over her stomach. Her engagement ring glinted on one finger, but her thumb rubbed the empty space beside it where a wedding band would never rest. "I have his child – in a way, I'll never lose him. And I know that guilt would've eaten him alive if he hadn't done everything in his power to save Peter. He loved your nephew like he would've loved Morgan – the least I can do is help take care of him too."

May forced a watery smile. "Thank you."

Pepper smiled back. "I expect free babysitting in return for this, of course."

May chuckled. "Of course. Let's- let's go."

They stepped out of the car, making their way inside and up to Kani's office. It was a small room, neat and orderly, the walls painted in soft pastels. She had a light grey desk in front of a pair of chairs. After shutting the door, May and Pepper sat in them, leaning across the desk to shake Kani's hand.

"How is my nephew?" May asked after greetings had been exchanged.

Kani folded her hands together, leaning on her desk. "He's confused as to why he's in a psychiatric hospital, and continues to ask for Mr. Stark, but otherwise, he's doing quite well."

"What have you been telling him?"

"We've said that we simply want to observe him after the trauma of the snap, and that Mr. Stark is too injured to leave the hospital to visit him," she answered. "We'll need new excuses eventually, but I want to wait and see if his mind can learn to cope with the memories on its own before we try forcing the truth on him again."

"How would it do that?"

"The young mind is a resilient thing," Kani explained. "The blockage may simply be a protective measure meant to come down when he's in a better place to deal with the trauma. Once he's felt safe for a while, he may begin to remember his death, and find the strength to cope with Mr. Stark's."

May nodded along. "How long would this take?"

Kani spread her hands. "It's a waiting game, I'm afraid. It could be tomorrow, next month, or next year. And this isn't a certainty – after losing three father figures before even graduating high school, as well as dying himself, there's a lot of trauma packed away in a very young mind. His psyche may just not be capable of processing any more pain."

May sucked in a breath, reaching for Pepper's hand. But even as she squeezed it for dear life, she wished it was Ben's.

"Ok," she said when she had regained her composure. "Sorry, I'm- I'm good. Can I see him?"

"Of course. His room is this way."

They followed Kani down a couple hallways, stopping in front of a door with a small window. Peering through it, the first thing May spotted was a window with bars over it. "What are those for?"

"Simply a security precaution," Kani soothed. "Everybody's room has different ones. Those bars are simply to keep him from climbing away should he decide to make an escape attempt. But he seems to enjoy talking with the others, so unless he sees news of something needing his alter ego, I don't think he will."

May squeezed Pepper's hand one more time before letting go. She wanted to look strong when she saw him.

Kani opened the door, and she stepped inside.

It was nice. The walls were light grey, the floor a plush white carpet. He had a TV above a case full of DVDs, and a small nightstand by his bed had some books and Legos. He sat on his bed, head bent over a math textbook. He looked up at their entrance, a smile spreading across his face. "May! Mrs. Pepper!"

May smiled, going to hug him. "How are you doing, Peter?"

"I'm good," he answered cheerfully. "Just catching up on some homework before I go back to school."

May sat just behind him, using the position to hide the tears in her eyes. "That's good."

_I just hope you do get to go back._

\-----

"Hey, sweetheart," May greeted her nephew.

Weeks had passed with no change. She had grown used to hiding her heartbreak, had learned how to smoothly lie to his sweet, trusting face. Trusting that he would get out soon when, in reality, it was beginning to look like he would never leave.

They had tried again, a couple days ago, to break the news. And it had had the same results it had back at the compound. He looked now like nothing had ever happened, but she remembered his screams as he insisted Tony wasn't dead. After he'd been sedated, Kani had decided it was time to look into medicinal treatments, running simulations to see if any combination of medicines would be effective in the face of Peter's enhanced metabolism. May was just popping in to visit him before consulting with the doctor.

"Hi," he said, leaning into the kiss she pressed to his cheek. "I made something. Wanna see it?"

"Of course!"

He reached over, pulled open the top drawer of his nightstand, and took out a sketchbook. Flipping through its pages, he settled on one and handed it to May. It was a sketch of Tony, smiling down at a baby he cradled in his arms.

She smiled. "Peter, this is beautiful."

"Thanks! Mr. Stark told me that Mrs. Pepper was pregnant, and I wanted to make something for them."

The smile almost vanished from May's face before she regained control. "Oh yeah? When did he tell you that?"

"Yesterday."

He said it as if it was the simplest thing in the world. Of course Tony had come to visit. Of course he would tell Peter about the baby. It all made sense. To him.

But it had been Pepper. May hadn't been able to make it yesterday, so Pepper had visited Peter in her stead. She had told Peter about her pregnancy when she was there, and she said he had been ecstatic, rambling on about how he was looking forward to meeting the kid and babysitting all the time.

Struggling to hide the tremor in her hand, May handed the sketchbook back. "That's nice, Peter. And they're definitely going to love it."

Peter beamed. "I was gonna give it to them at the baby shower."

"That's a great idea. I have to go now, ok? I'll see you later."

Peter nodded, hugging her. When he pulled away, he was looking at the door, eyes alight with joy. "Mr. Stark! I wasn't expecting you today."

May turned around, hoping against hope that she would see him. That maybe these last weeks had been one long, endless nightmare.

There was no one there.

Peter stood, bouncing over to hug empty air. "How'd your mission with Mr. Rhodey go?"

He stopped, waiting for the empty air to answer.

Praying he wouldn't notice her, May hurried out the door, barely refraining from slamming it shut it behind her. She pressed back against the wall, stifling a sob as she slid down it. _He's changing his memories. He's hallucinating. He's- Peter's gone._

_My Peter died on Titan._

_And he never came home._

Quiet footsteps preceded someone's arrival, and May forced herself to look up at them. It was Kani, and judging by the expression on her face, every simulation had had the same result: Failure. Combined with Peter evidently getting worse… There was only one conclusion May could make.

_And he never will._


End file.
